Tortugero: Gracias a Diosito

This weekend was probably about the funniest weekend I have had so far. I hope you find it just as funny. I´ll try and do it justice.

My friends Brittany, Shelby, Devon, and I went to Tortugero, which is on the Caribbean coast north towards Nicaragua. We hopped into a cab from school to the Gran Caribe bus station at about 4:30 on Friday. We spent the whole time speaking in English. The cab driver said nothing because my experiences have shown me that they normally speak very limited English. We didn´t say anything bad,  gracias a dios, because he turned to us after about 10 minutes and says in pretty good English, ¨We´re about 2 blocks away¨. We died laughing because it was the last thing we were expecting. We then hopped onto a bus that took us to Cariari, which is about 2 hours away from San Jose.

The ride was so funny. We spent time making jokes and trying not to get car sick. I´m afraid that we were the loudest gringas on the bus. Typical gringas. On the bus, Shelby did us the favor of spilling our situation. She talked to a guy that would pick us up at the bus station and take us to our hotel. Yes, that should sound very shady. He even called us on the phone a couple of times and I could not understand one word that he said. I´ve learned that accents from the Caribbe are impossible for me, in English or in Spanish. So, we started laughing about how scary this was. Gracias a dios we had the assurance that a friend of Shelby had done this exact trip before so we knew that at least she didn´t die. We arrived and, as you would expect, my phone rang. Our plan was that if we saw him and he didn´t look safe, we would hop the next bus back home. Well, I answered and he saw me through the bus windows. No running away now. I might have said a couple of words. Oops, but it was funny.

His name was Roberto and he had with him his little daughter of 5 years. The joke was that he was bringing her so that we would trust him into our inevitable doom. We taxied to our hostel ($5 a night) and it seemed decent, until Shelby and I got to talking. We asked ourselves why Roberto would travel away from his home to help us when he wasn´t getting paid very much. Then we thought about our hostel and how cheap it was. And then we asked ourselves, ¨What´s the catch?¨ And that was the motto of the weekend. The catch? Our hostel was a little freaky. Funny, but freaky. Shelby´s sheets even  said ¨Shelton Hospital¨ on them. So gosh darn funny.

Roberto looked me up and down once and decided that I liked to party. I have no idea how but he pointed to the building that shared our parking lot and told us that was the bar to go to. Then, he asked me if I smoked. I was confused and said "What?" which to him sounded like "Yes." So I had a nice lecture about not smoking while I was with him. Even funnier. And since it was National Margarita Day in the States, my friends and I decided to go listen to some music. Although it was the worst margarita I have ever had, we had so much fun just listening to music and hanging out. I even made friends with the cook and he would dance and then laugh from where he was when I saw him.

The next day, we got up and left by 6:30 to catch a ferry to Tortugero. Get this, on the ferry, this strangely dressed guy who had a camera crew with him and was videoing the ferry. I decided to sit in the front to have more leg room. He was struggling with his suitcase so I offered help. Then, suddenly they were filming more of the boat, including me. One of the men, who actually turned out to be the owner of our hotel, came up to take a photo of them filming. I asked him who he was and he said he is a really famous man from a television show named "El Galan". Un galan is a word in Spanish that refers to a womanizer who has a ton of women. It roughly translates to a "player". So, what his show is about is the different areas in Costa Rica but as he travels, he talks to women and flirts and everything. Turns out I was the girlfriend for the boat ride. They filmed us talking and everything. His character on the show is actually really creepy in all honesty. As a person, though, he is really nice. They joked with me the whole time when the camera wasn't rolling. My friends were sitting behind me just laughing at it all. They kept saying that there was going to be a catch. Well, they filmed him singing to me and I had to ask him to not sing again. Definitely an awesome workout in Spanish. He even gave me his card if I ever visit where he is from, which I am for sure planning on doing. The catch, though? When we arrived on the island, there was a huge group there to greet El Galan. Well, I was his girlfriend for the time, so he pulled me with him to listen to the music that the people played to welcome him. People were yelling at him asking how he got a girlfriend so tall and beautiful. They also asked when we were going to the hotel together. My friends were waiting on me and I knew I had to leave so we shot the final scene and I left. Keep in mind that this is a tiny island and I am pretty sure that about half of the island came out to welcome El Galan. So now a ton of people on the island knew of me.

I went to the hotel Icaco to meet up with my friends who had to leave before I was done being famous. After checking in and getting settled in our room, we left for a canoe tour of the canals. We were with a pair that was so cute. The wife was from Spain and the husband was from Germany. Our canoe driver rowed us all around the canals to see the different wild life. It was so cool. We saw Caiman and birds and different lizards. There were even four different species of monos. It really did feel like something out of Jurassic Park. After three hours of joking around and telling stories in the canoe, we returned to our hostel. In front of the hostel, there was a gazebo that had about five different hammocks in it. That was our place for the entire day. I'm pretty sure that we spent more time there than in our beds. Well, right when we got back from the tour, we were chilling in the hammocks. A lady who worked at the hotel told me that she saw me on TV that day. Then she proceeded to ask me if I was the galan's girlfriend and when I was going to see him. Yeah, that was just the start. Later that day, when I was walking around the island and in the national park, people asked me if I was the galan's girlfriend. We found the catch: I will be forever known as the galan's girlfriend. Shelby, Devon, and I went for a walk in the National Park. We had to rent boots because they said they were necessary. I beg to differ but it was only $1. In the park, we could walk a path and see different animals, most of which were very small.

That night, after a much needed shower, we went out for dinner. This was a big deal because for every other meal, I had been eating pb&j on corn tortillas. The best mix between American and Costa Rican. We went to a restaurant and I had amazing pollo con coco. It was so good. El Galan even came in and ate with his friends behind us. He is a really nice guy.

After, we went to a bar that had music pounding out the front door. The back side overlooked the water. It would have been amazing if we didn't have different locals creeping on us the whole time. For some weird reason, I got really sick. I had to leave the bar and use a bathroom in the restaurant across the street. My friends came over to meet me there and it began to pour down water. That was the first time we had experienced Costa Rican rain. It never lets up. So we ran for ten minutes back to our hotel. Back at the hotel, we played some cards and I tried not to be sick again.

The next day, we got up and went to breakfast really early. We just couldn't sleep very well. After, we went on a walk on the beach and packed up to go home. We hopped a ferry and then a bus back to San Jose. I sat next to a man that was very sweet and told me about his kids and his job in Costa Rica. I was so happy to come home to a beautiful dinner from Mamatica and a warm bed with clean sheets. The only problem was that I still was not feeling well.

Which brings me to the catch of the weekend: Roberto told us we could drink the water. We actually can't. I was super sick because of the water I drank at the restaurant. Stomach cramps and all. Good thing Mamatica is always ready with tea that takes care of any stomach ailment. Get this: She told me she knew I was sick because I ate less. Thanks Mamatica.

Overall, the weekend was so funny. What I learned from it was that we were so lucky. Actually, it was so strong that there was no way it could have been luck. God was taking care of us. We made every bus, even when they left oddly early, and we were never in danger. This was a wonderful weekend, gracias a diosito.